“Get It Together!”

I talk to myself a lot– in my head mostly. If I am by myself I might say something out loud, but to maintain appearances, I mostly keep it in my head. Most of the time it’s things to help me get pumped up for something: “You got this”, “You can do it”… y’know, stuff like that. Every once in a while, it’s talk to pick myself up from a failed attempt at being cool or funny. “It’s alright, kiddo”, “You can’t win ’em all” and, my favorite, “Get it together”. I had to whip that one out recently…

Guess what? It’s story time, y’all!

So I was heading home from a day at the good ol’ internship, you know, the work I pay to do. I grabbed the plum that I had packed for a snack and started delicately and gracefully eating it.* I walked up the stairs onto the train platform and encountered a young man who was shooing a bee away (it took me a minute to understand what his awkward movements were for). As I passed him with my plum, the bee started following me instead. Smart bee.

*I don’t delicately or gracefully do anything.

I turned to make a joke about how I rescued him from the bee and per usual, I was already laughing at the joke, which I had formed in my head but hadn’t actually spoken yet. Well, in compliance with the laws of physics, my premature laughter caused me to spit out some plum right as I turned my head toward him. I didn’t even have the chance to share the joke.

Seem harmless, right? Meet my newest nemesis.

I immediately aborted the mission. The joke wasn’t that funny and there was no coming back from spitting out food at a stranger. I wish I had gotten a better look at his face as this all happened, but it was all I could do to gather what was left of my dignity and continue far enough away so this young man couldn’t see me any more.

“Get it together” I repeated in my head through my laughter the rest of my way home.

It’s things like this that keep me grounded. Nothing like spitting out food on accident to remind you of how human you really are.

Categories: Day to Day, Dudes, Mere Musings, My Story, the Human Condition | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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