This double list post was inspired by an incredibly frustrating effort to open a can of chili at work.
I’m not just talking about being mad, the frustration I am talking about is the kind where you are afraid to open your mouth because of the likely chance that your voice would break the sound barrier with expletives and unnecessary vulgarity. This kind of anger is usually inspired by inanimate objects, not people. I tend to have more patience with people. Here is the list of those objects and situations:
1. Crappy can openers, especially when hungry.
2. Jammed paper in copy machines or printers, especially when it happens repeatedly.
3. Trying to make a decision with a group of indifferent people.
4. Stupid injuries (e.g. stubbed toe, bruised shin, bumped head on the under side of a desk when you’ve bent over to pick something up, etc.), especially when others witness it.
5. Slow or non-functional internet access.
6. Losing something or having something stolen. St. Anthony can only do so much.
And as a resource guide, here are a list of things that I have heard people say in order to avoid aforementioned expletives and unnecessary vulgarities:
1. “Sugar!” -compliments of Grandma and Grandpa.
2. “Heavens to Betsy!” also compliments of Grandma. “Betsy” has also often been replaced with “Murgatroid” (sp?).
3. “Jezus, Marya Józefy Święty!” (Polish for “Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph”) compliments of my mother.
4. “Fiddlesticks!” compliments of my father.